"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning
but a going on,
with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
- Hal Borland
…We glory in tribulations also:
knowing that tribulation works patience;
And patience, experience;
and experience, hope:
And hope makes not ashamed;
because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts.
Romans 5:3-5
The preceding quotes, one Biblical in nature and the other not, are good food for thought no matter your religious or non-religious affiliation as we plunge ahead and into the brave new world that 2012 has to offer. For me, the past two years have been largely dominated by my mother’s illness and then her death. When I think about good times without pain or worry my mind drifts back to 2009 and earlier, all together bypassing the last two years. But in reverent reflection this bypassing is really a disservice to me and my mother’s memory.
Truly the footprints of the last two years have left deep tracks. But this is not to say I didn’t learn or grow in a way that will aid me throughout my life to come, and it is due in large part to the “tribulations” of the recent past. Patience, experience and hope were gained as was a new perspective on life and the things that really matter – and those that don’t. These were all virtues my mother exhibited in spades and was forever quietly and persistently (and often unsuccessfully) trying to pass on to me. It is fitting that our experience together in the last two years of her life planted these seeds so deep in my heart that I will continue to learn them in her light long after her passing.
And yet I know I still have much to learn. As I take the “wisdom and experience” of these past two years onward from this point and full steam ahead into 2012 I also take all the good of my mother. All the love, kindness, devotion and wonderfulness that she was and will always be to me. I will strive to follow her lead and leave behind the sick and frail physical form she became. I understand that the journey ahead is still a treacherous one fraught with emotional sink-holes, but I have hope “and hope makes not ashamed” to stumble, to cry, and to get back up and go on.
The love of good friends, the support of kind family, a healing faith and hope in the face of adversity were some of my mother’s most cherished tools in getting through life. As I continue to learn the true worth of these things I look forward to 2012 and beyond.
Happy New Year to all indeed!
